Decode the 10 Things Men Try to Hide.

Men have their own way to express or let us know what they want and they usually do it in a very subtle way.  

It is very important for women to be able to decode what is going on behind their words. What is it they really mean?

Here are 10 things you might hear from men and the real truth behind it. 

1.  I like you a lot however I am not really looking for a relationship at the moment. 
The message is "let's just have fun cuz I don't want to deal with your drama."

2.  I am married however it is not working and I am planning to divorce.
The message is  "I am not available but I am going to make you think that I may be soon, so I can get laid now. "

3.   What a great friend you are.
If he says that, he is not interested in you. He doesn't find you attractive enough. 

4.  The economy is tough this days.
"I don't have a job and I don't have any intention to look for one either." 

5.  I haven't had a serious girlfriend for the last 5 years.
He loves to be single and has no intention to settle down. 

6.  I love tall women.
He is probably 5' 7'' and has a napoleon complex. 

7.  I care about  you.
If a man says that, he means "I loves you."

8. I need space.
Stop being on his back, he is getting tired of you.

9. Can we still be friends?
"Can I still have sex with you?"

10. I didn't call lately because I have been very busy with work this days.
He was probably very busy seducing someone else beside you. 

Remember one thing, if a man is really interested in you, he will find time for you. Any excuse you might hear from him is just a way to create some distance between the two of you.  Ask yourself whether you have contributed to his aloofness and how can you take your power back.  Men love women that are self-centered, a woman that loves herself more than she will love him. He knows if she loves herself enough he will be seen in her eyes as an important part of her life instead of him becoming her everything. This is a tough lesson for most women. I have gone though this experience with the men in my life and it hasn't been an easy one to learn.  Come on girls we can do it...

For a Private Consultation about your Relationship or Dating Issues, email me elenaburnettcoach@gmail.com 
https://www.facebook.com/Elenaburnettcoach

Addictions and CoDependency in the Relationship.

Men - Addictions and /or bad Habits .

How many of you girls have been dating or are in a relationship with a man that has some type of addiction? In my case I have dated some quite interesting ones. I remember going out with a guy who at the beginning seemed perfectly fine. Until I went to his house for a dinner with his sister (who was his roommate at the time). Of course he took me there for two reasons, one he was looking for his sisters validation and two, well I am sure you already know that one...
He was a chef, a pretty good one and he wanted to impress me with his cooking. So I gave him the complements he was fishing for. However I did realize that my validation didn't seem to be enough for him. He started acting out in weird ways. His sister was constantly excusing his behavior but I knew right there that something wasn't right. Later on in the "relationship" I found out that he had a major problem with alcohol and of course, women. I learn in our short time together that he only cared about his own feelings, his own problems and worries. He did not ever want to be there for me or even hear my pain. The good news is that I left him, it wasn't easy because I was already bonded to him. Yes, you are right... I bonded with the wrong guy, a mistake I had to make at that time.

The reason why I have shared this history with you, is because I want to remind you that there is always signs from the beginning in a relationship. Men will always tell you in the first 30 minutes of knowing you, what they are all about. If we miss the signs I can guarantee you that we will pay the price in the long run.

Now, lets say for instance that you happen to be dating a guy that has an addiction. Having an addiction means that, he has a relationship with that addiction. His addiction is his best friend. His  addiction has became his most important priority and without it, he can't function. His brain craves the addiction. Addictions also come in pairs, where there is an addiction there is always some other ones clustered with it. In other words, addictions are also linked with sex, porn, compulsive masturbation, gambling, strip bars,  etc.

When a person becomes addicted to mind-altering drugs, it is because they are looking for some  validation and to also escape from pain. Pain that he or she is carrying from disappointments, frustrations, etc. A person with an addiction, is a person that doesn't want to face reality, the reality of the up and down of life. He or she wants to stay in their fantasy world where rejections doesn't really exist. The addiction gives to the person the impression of always being there for him/her when no one else is. The addiction became their companion. They both are pretty much facing the world together. Without the addiction, the person feels naked, no place to go, no place to be.

These types of people need a lot of attention, a lot of reassurance and lot of love. It is all about them. Now, you as a woman need to come to terms with it, if this is something you want for you. You see, a man under any type of addiction loses his rationality and he becomes more feelings centered. He wants to be taken care of, he wants you to be his savior, his mother, his lover, his best friend, etc. However they will not be there for you when you need them because they can't be. The guy you are dating is not the real person, he is not in his real mind set. He is helpless.
Women who date these types of men, are also damaging themselves. Nature didn't make women to be masculine and act as the protector of the relationship. Most women that are adopting this role, end up suffering some type of sickness. The body will show the signs sooner or later.

So what is the solution? There is a way to change the whole scenario, however you won't avoid the pain of going through the process. You can either confront your partner in a healthy way, however you will need to know how to do this or stay in the relationship until the pain to stay is bigger than the pain to leave. Whether you decide to stay or to leave in both cases the pain is guaranteed. I really never advise to leave the relationship, I always recommend for the people involved to work the conflict within the relationship. Remember, if your partner has an addiction and you are with him, you are probably codependent too. Being in a relationship with someone who has an addiction made them being dependable on your emotional support, something that can actually give you a sense of power to begin with. So my question to you will be, are you ready to make the right changes to break the cycle you are in? Take time to think about it, because it is not an easy task to do. I can guarantee you, that as you make the proper changes, he will have to grow with you or the relationship will dissolve by itself.

You see, the guy you have got as I said before is not the real him. So if he cleans up his act you might not even like who he really is. At the same time, it might even happen to him too. So again, think about what is it that you want or don't want and take some positive action.

If you want to learn how to confront your partner in a healthy way, I can help you. Private consultations are now available on Skype and remember " Knowledge is Power "

Love you all.

elenaburnettcoach@gmail.com
https://www.facebook.com/Elenaburnettcoach

What Can You Do When He Pulls Back?

What happens when after having been dating a guy for whatever period of time, he pulls back and stops calling you. For instance lets say you haven't heard from him in a couple of days.

What would be the right thing for you to do? In my experience with men and I am sure you are going to agree with me, when a guy stops contacting me, I start freaking out! I start to think that maybe he doesn't really like me or he might have found someone else or maybe something has happened to him, like an accident.

I would never think for a moment that maybe he has taken some time apart from me to digest the experience he just had. On many occasions I have found myself going after him. Thinking that maybe it is ok if I make the first move. Unfortunately, what I have found is that 95% of the time after chasing him, he will keep repeating same pattern for a prolonged period.

Finally after all my mistakes, I have learned that in order to have a man be interested in you, he needs the space to be free - he needs to be able to think things out. If in the process of him doing this, we chase him around, he will not have much to think about and he will automatically make up his mind that maybe we are not right for him.

Some women, on the contrary, will start to play games when a man pulls back. She will pretend to be more busy than she really is or will not take his calls when he comes around. For those women who think that a man will be more interested in you if you play with him or you try to torture him, I have some news: He will know your game right away and he will just start playing you right back.

If you want to find out how to get him coming your way. I will teach you the right way. I have helped a lot of women like you, to get it right.

For a Private Consultation email me at elenaburnettcoach@gmail.com
For more info about my work follow me athttps://www.facebook.com/Elenaburnettcoach
http://www.youtube.com/702Elena

Love ...

How To Get it Right with Guys?

If You really want to know how to get it right with men,
Here is what you will need to know about men. Specially the ones that like to be in charge of the relationship.  These men are called " Masculine Man" .  They love to compete, conquer and control. Here is what they are looking in a woman.

A masculine man will want you to be able to say  ‘No” to casual sex.

Wait a moment, what do you mean? don’t men all want to get laid? Of Course they do for biological reasons. However when a man it is interested in building something else with you things can be a little bit different. Ok so let’s go back to the question. why would a man appreciate a woman saying “ no “ to intercourse? Here are the reason why.

1. If he can get you in the sack that easily that means other competitors will have the same chances too. In which case, he knows he won’t be able to trust you in the long run. Just because a man wants to go out with you or get into your body, that doesn’t mean you are special. You can only became the “ one” when he can first get to know you, for who you are. 
2. If he can’t manipulate you to get his needs meet first, you then won’t lose yourself. Well... think about it for a moment, a man is built to provide and protect. If you don’t allow him the space to be a man, he won’t have the chance to fall for you. If all he wants is his own self gratification, then not matter what you do he will soon be out of your life so why would you even try to bond with him. 

Men know they can get a lot of things for free especially if they have status, money and looks. They also know that good things don’t usually come easily. Everything that is good  takes time to build. One thing is clear: we women need to be very patient with them. Don’t stand idly by while you wait for him. Do your things be happy with your own company. Men also love happy women. A man is suppose to come into your life to make you happier but it is not his responsibility to do the work for you. I know it is hard for us women to understand this concept since most of us long for that special man that will save us from our pain.

The good news is that men in general also long for love, they might not show it to us as much as we would like them to do, however the way to get to their hearts is not through their pants.   Don’t let them convince you otherwise, remember they can be very persuasive (that is why we love them). 

If he wants you that badly he will come around. you might think he won’t however let him be frustrated and deal with the pain of not getting it his way. If you chase him around when he pulls away,  you will just turn him into your son. Yes.. you heard right, you will disrespect him and his manhood and all you will get from him, is his penis. 

For most women an emotional connection is more important than the physical one even though we might get confused and get physical first in hopes of getting the attention we long for. 

To book a Private Consultation email me at elenaburnettcoach@gmail.com or https://www.facebook.com/Elenaburnettcoach
Elena has been working with men for more than 15 years and now she is committed to help women understand the heart and mind of men.