How many times have you dated a guy who avoids being intimate with you? Usually, most guys will try to have sex with you on the first few encounters, with some exceptions. I want to be clear that there is not a problem on the man's side to want it to have sex with you as fast as possible. It is a woman's responsibility to shift his awareness from his basic instinctual desire to his spiritual level. However, I will talk more about this subject in another blog since this one is about the guys who don't want to be physical with you.
Why is this happening? The other day I had a great conversation with an smart middle aged woman who happened to bring this subject to my attention. She told me how unlucky she was, because all she ever attracted were guys who didn't want to have sex with her. She didn't know what to do or why this was happening to her. The first thing for me to bring into her awareness was the concept she had about attracting someone versus keeping someone. I explained to her that women, when in touch with their femininity (meaning when they are receptive, vulnerable and available) are going to attract men in general.
When this happens you will probably have a variety of men who will be knocking on your door, and if you love yourself and know who you are, you will be able to either 'qualify the buyer' ('future mate) according to your standards or be able to say " No Thank You". You won't waste your precious youth with someone who is incapable of fulfilling your needs first. This type of women is what I like to call a "Self Centered Woman", and that's a good thing!
Women, if you meet a guy who doesn't want to be all over you in the first days and weeks, don't stick around. He is probably looking for a companion which is great, however women need a combination of companionship and great sex / making love.
Why then is this situation happening to you? If you tell me it's only happened to you once or twice, I will understand and we can both move on. However, if this has happened more then twice, we are talking about a pattern. A pattern that keeps repeating itself because you are not clear on what you want or don't want when it comes to romance. It also tells me you have some inner work to do on yourself first in order to attract your equal.
Here are the changes you will need to make,
1. Break The Pattern.
Learn to say "No Thank You" to what you don't want.
2. Make a List Of The Things You Want or Don't Want in a Man.
If you know what you are looking for write it down, If you don't know, then make a list of the things you don't want.
3. Build You Confidence Back.
Learn to believe in yourself and your inner power.
4. Pray.
Learn to ask the Universe for its guidance and help in the process. Surrender to its power.
5. Listen to Your Dates With Your Ears Not You Heart.
Pay attention to what he says to you about himself and his past versus what you want to hear.
6. Does it Feel Right To Be Around Him?
Stop going out with him if it doesn't. Be responsible for your part.
7. Don't Convince Yourself Of Something that Isn't There.
You know in your heart when something is not right; don't let your mind plays trick on you.
8. Don't Stick Around Because You Feel Sorry For Him.
That's one of the worst things you could do to a man and to yourself.
9. Always Think About You First.
Remember this is your life and you have the power to co-create exactly as you wish.
10. Don't Chase Him To Get Laid.
Let the man do his job. If he doesn't, you already know what you need to do. If you chase him around, you will turn him off and he will feel pressure to perform. Not the best approach.
Remember the sperm chases the egg, not the other way around.
