3 Signs to Detect When He is Being Too Controling?

Ok so lets face it, men in general can be very controlling. I know for some women, this can be very annoying. However even if as a woman, you would like to adopt the feminine role in the relationship (which means you will decide to be passive, vulnerable and receptive), there are things about men that can be acceptable to put up with and some that need to be renegotiated with them.

First I would like to explain why men like to control and how they do it. Then I will share with you when enough is enough - when he is becoming too controlling. 

Let's go back to the question of why men love to be in control of their environment. Well, the truth is, that most men think of themselves as always being right, as always having the best approach in life, as always doing things right. However, when two men are having a conversation, they don't usually interrupt each other because that means that a change in the conversation is required, which is not their objective. Men like to listen to each other so they can hear the weak point of his opponent. For a man, there is not such a thing as a conversation because they see everything as one big competition.

However, men will interrupt women when they talk, for just one reason - to control the conversation. It is really hard for a woman to talk to a man or have a conversation with them without feeling frustrated. Most men are usually trying to fix or solve something we might have said. When we women talk, we just want our partners's ears to listen to our concern, without having him try to control or solve our issues. We women are just looking to release our stress by talking out loud.

Men can also be very protective of those they love and can show they care for us in a bit of a negative way, in my opinion. They sometimes don't even take into consideration our point of view to start with.

When a man gets to the point that he is taking over your existence, in other words you feel that you are losing your identity because things are only done his way, then don't wait for the situation to escalate. Don't confront him either. Wait for the right moment, to let him know in a respectful way that even though he has the right to be himself, you don't appreciate his behavior. Be specific with your concern, get to the point and don't become emotional about it. Don't nag either.

So here is the signs you need to look for, when he is being too controlling. 

1. You have lost your identity around him.

He decides everything for the two of you.

2. Conversations between the two of you only happen when he decides he wants to share things.

He is not willing to listen to your pain or to your worries, etc. He wants you to remain in silence around him.

3. He wants you to be available for him at all time.

Forget if you have needs too. It is all about him.

Remember one thing girls, I don't think there is anything wrong with a man being controlling since that is their nature, what I think is wrong is when you lose yourself just to make him happy. When you stop being you, to become him, it is just not appealing for a man. You don't need to fight, you don't have be disrespectful with him either. However, the point is to be clear as a woman what your needs are first so you don't need to justify why your situation got out of hand. A relationship is the totality of two individuals with their own autonomy that have decided to become a team, where they are both growing together through the adversity of life. 

To book a Private Consultation about you relationship or dating issues. Email me at elenaburnettcoach@gmail.com or visit me at
www.elenaburnett.com
 http://www.youtube.com/702Elena 

http://elenaconsulta.blogspot.com/. 

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